Oral Health Wizard Gifts

'I'm the toothpaste genie offering you a free dental plan!'

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

"As a dental hygienist, the first thing I noticed was your smile."

Dentist Training School.

Floss Street Vendor

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

"And if your teeth could hear you, Larry, what would you say to them?"

'You're not supposed to use 'dental floss' on dentures!'

'I don't like the mediciney taste of this mouthwash either. I hate that taste of eyes of newt and turtle brains first thing in the morning.'

"The good new is I found your dentures. The bad news is the dog has a new chew toy."

The inscription says: 'Whiter teeth; fresher breath.'

'...your teeth are putting on weight.'

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

'I still have all my own teeth.'

'Mind that molar, careful of that canine...'

Yoga Dentist has sign on wall: 'Open Mouth Insert Foot'

"That's a misconception. The key to salvation is, and always has been, daily flossing."

'It wasn't the strength of your argument. It was your breath.'

Grassy breath?

'Most of the dental floss gets thrown out on used. No wonder I'm always broke.'

'Little girls are made of sugar and spice. Does the American Dental Association know about this?'

'You should have come to me sooner.'

'I want to lose weight, Doctor.' - 'Eat less, then.' - 'I need it to be more complicated than that.' - 'Why?' - 'How can I justify failing if it's that simple, eh?!' - 'Gah. He's breaking me...' -

'I know! He has the worst breath!'

'I used some of that stripy toothpaste. Now I have striped teeth!'

Toothbrush Superhero.

'Maybe you should stay away from dental humour.'

"Don't get too excited. Getting a filling does not make you a cyborg."

' ... plus you need to floss better.'

"Thanks, Doc- you've put me back in business."