Oral Hygiene Enthusiast Gifts

Family Dentistry: 'Floss properly, or we tell your kid who the tooth fairy really is.'

'Good lord, Gerald-is that mint gum?'

Dentist carrying outsize dental tools.

The bad news is that your teeth are shot. The good news is that you have the uvula of a man half your age.'

Dentist's office.

'Why don't I go brush my teeth.'

"Sorry about this, I'm sure my little mirror will turn up eventually."

'O.K. Now say, Arrrghh!'

Are you sure you don't wish to upgrade your dental plan?

'Most of the dental floss gets thrown out on used. No wonder I'm always broke.'

Grassy breath?

'Blimy! Colgate Ultrawhitener I guess?'

'I don't like the mediciney taste of this mouthwash either. I hate that taste of eyes of newt and turtle brains first thing in the morning.'

Passionate about Halitosis

'I need a new tooth brush.'

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

A hasty waste or tasty paste.

'Rinse please.'

'Busy day?'

'-and who's next?'

Gerard here is thorough to the point ot obsession.

Dentist touches a nerve.

'I used some of that stripy toothpaste. Now I have striped teeth!'

'Come, come, Mr Walker...it's only an inspection.'

Dentist.

'Swallow your mouthwash again, Farnsworth?'

'I'm applying for drilling rights in new territory in your lower jaw.'

'A tough one, I'm afraid.'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

Oct. 1982: Researchers attempt an ill-fated procedure in great white shark oral hygiene.

You have the worst spring breath.