Oral Hygiene Aficionado Gifts

'£60 for pulling a tooth. Isn't that a bit much?' - 'Yes, but your yelling chased away some of our clients.'

"What am I supposed to rinse my mouth out with so my parents won't know?"

'You're not supposed to use 'dental floss' on dentures!'

'5 teeth or less.' supermarket checkout

Dentist as Sherlock Holmes investigating a patient's mouth

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

Floss Street Vendor

'...Oh yeah? Well I've never heard of the 'denture fairy'.'

'I don't like the mediciney taste of this mouthwash either. I hate that taste of eyes of newt and turtle brains first thing in the morning.'

Here's my dental insurance card. Sorry. Twig had a visit within the last 6 months. This one's not covered. That was a check-up. This is an emergency. How about Twig's chipped tooth? Your policy doesn't cover cosmetic problems. Now I get it! My insurance is cosmetic. Have a nice day!

The inscription says: 'Whiter teeth; fresher breath.'

'...your teeth are putting on weight.'

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

Air Dentistry

'I still have all my own teeth.'

'Mind that molar, careful of that canine...'

'Please become a NHS dentist!'

"Please point out the problem tooth."

'This is a song about a man who visited his dentist. 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGH!' Thank you.'

'Most of the dental floss gets thrown out on used. No wonder I'm always broke.'

Grassy breath?

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

'What are you doing? We only take the teeth they leave under the pillow.'

Please Don't Wash Your Hands While Driving

Wanting to save his parents thousands in orthodontic costs, Lyle makes braces for himself in metal shop.

'You should have come to me sooner.'

Three little pig's wolf has bad breath

'Does your company have a dental plan?'

'Let's see... how many squeezes did that commercial say to put on the brush?'

"Don't get too excited. Getting a filling does not make you a cyborg."