Oral Care Aficionado Gifts

'Tell me the truth, Norm. Do I have bad breath?'

Do you have health insurance ?

'You were afraid for the drill?'

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

Floss Street Vendor

"Yes, use an electric toothbrush but you still have to floss."

'...Oh yeah? Well I've never heard of the 'denture fairy'.'

'You're not supposed to use 'dental floss' on dentures!'

Air Dentistry

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

'...your teeth are putting on weight.'

The inscription says: 'Whiter teeth; fresher breath.'

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

'I don't like the mediciney taste of this mouthwash either. I hate that taste of eyes of newt and turtle brains first thing in the morning.'

Here's my dental insurance card. Sorry. Twig had a visit within the last 6 months. This one's not covered. That was a check-up. This is an emergency. How about Twig's chipped tooth? Your policy doesn't cover cosmetic problems. Now I get it! My insurance is cosmetic. Have a nice day!

'I still have all my own teeth.'

'Please become a NHS dentist!'

Grassy breath?

'My, that's some cavity' (words echo on)

'What are you doing? We only take the teeth they leave under the pillow.'

"Please point out the problem tooth."

'Most of the dental floss gets thrown out on used. No wonder I'm always broke.'

Savoy Dental Salon

'This is a song about a man who visited his dentist. 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGH!' Thank you.'

Wanting to save his parents thousands in orthodontic costs, Lyle makes braces for himself in metal shop.

Three little pig's wolf has bad breath

'Let's see... how many squeezes did that commercial say to put on the brush?'

'Does your company have a dental plan?'

"If you won't brush or floss could you at least run your tongue over your teeth once in a while?"

The Tooth Fairy on Vacation. Museum of Natural History.

"Trust me, the best beauty tip is to get a good toothpaste and brush your teeth twice a day: it will keep you looking young. . ."