Oral Health Aficionado Gifts

"Thanks, Doc- you've put me back in business."

'It appears to be a side effect of the herbal toothpaste you're using.'

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

'...Oh yeah? Well I've never heard of the 'denture fairy'.'

Floss Street Vendor

'I don't like the mediciney taste of this mouthwash either. I hate that taste of eyes of newt and turtle brains first thing in the morning.'

'...your teeth are putting on weight.'

Air Dentistry

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

'You're not supposed to use 'dental floss' on dentures!'

The inscription says: 'Whiter teeth; fresher breath.'

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

'I still have all my own teeth.'

'Please become a NHS dentist!'

'Mind that molar, careful of that canine...'

Grassy breath?

'What are you doing? We only take the teeth they leave under the pillow.'

"Please point out the problem tooth."

'This is a song about a man who visited his dentist. 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGH!' Thank you.'

'Most of the dental floss gets thrown out on used. No wonder I'm always broke.'

'You should have come to me sooner.'

Three little pig's wolf has bad breath

'Let's see... how many squeezes did that commercial say to put on the brush?'

'Does your company have a dental plan?'

"So, you see, what you were really looking for was a deeper connection with your father, and not the dentist's office down the hall."

'I know! He has the worst breath!'

'I used some of that stripy toothpaste. Now I have striped teeth!'

Toothbrush Superhero.

'You need to chuck more wood.'

"If you won't brush or floss could you at least run your tongue over your teeth once in a while?"