Oral Health Aficionado T-Shirts

"Thanks, Doc- you've put me back in business."

'It appears to be a side effect of the herbal toothpaste you're using.'

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

'...Oh yeah? Well I've never heard of the 'denture fairy'.'

Floss Street Vendor

Here's my dental insurance card. Sorry. Twig had a visit within the last 6 months. This one's not covered. That was a check-up. This is an emergency. How about Twig's chipped tooth? Your policy doesn't cover cosmetic problems. Now I get it! My insurance is cosmetic. Have a nice day!

'You're not supposed to use 'dental floss' on dentures!'

'I don't like the mediciney taste of this mouthwash either. I hate that taste of eyes of newt and turtle brains first thing in the morning.'

'...your teeth are putting on weight.'

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

Air Dentistry

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

The inscription says: 'Whiter teeth; fresher breath.'

'I still have all my own teeth.'

'Please become a NHS dentist!'

'Mind that molar, careful of that canine...'

'Most of the dental floss gets thrown out on used. No wonder I'm always broke.'

Grassy breath?

'What are you doing? We only take the teeth they leave under the pillow.'

"Please point out the problem tooth."

'This is a song about a man who visited his dentist. 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGH!' Thank you.'

Wanting to save his parents thousands in orthodontic costs, Lyle makes braces for himself in metal shop.

'You should have come to me sooner.'

Three little pig's wolf has bad breath

'Let's see... how many squeezes did that commercial say to put on the brush?'

'Does your company have a dental plan?'

Toothbrush Superhero.

'I know! He has the worst breath!'

"So, you see, what you were really looking for was a deeper connection with your father, and not the dentist's office down the hall."

'I used some of that stripy toothpaste. Now I have striped teeth!'

'You need to chuck more wood.'