Oral Care Enthusiast Gifts

'Tartar sauce?! Heaven no. My dentist would kill me.'

'I wouldn't worry about not brushing before bed if it was just the one night, Mr. Van Winkle.'

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

Floss Street Vendor

' ... plus you need to floss better.'

'Have you been using Tippex on your teeth?'

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

Toothless Meal

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

“It’s the only way we can get him to kiss her.”

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

'...Oh yeah? Well I've never heard of the 'denture fairy'.'

"Yes, use an electric toothbrush but you still have to floss."

'You're not supposed to use 'dental floss' on dentures!'

'I'm the good witch...this is my house made out of dental products.'

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

'...your teeth are putting on weight.'

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

The inscription says: 'Whiter teeth; fresher breath.'

No other lab did as cutting edge research using lab rats as test subjects as McWit Lab.

'Must you always point out my floss?'

'I don't like the mediciney taste of this mouthwash either. I hate that taste of eyes of newt and turtle brains first thing in the morning.'

Here's my dental insurance card. Sorry. Twig had a visit within the last 6 months. This one's not covered. That was a check-up. This is an emergency. How about Twig's chipped tooth? Your policy doesn't cover cosmetic problems. Now I get it! My insurance is cosmetic. Have a nice day!

'I still have all my own teeth.'

'Mind that molar, careful of that canine...'

'Please become a NHS dentist!'

'My, that's some cavity' (words echo on)

'This is a song about a man who visited his dentist. 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGH!' Thank you.'

'Most of the dental floss gets thrown out on used. No wonder I'm always broke.'

"Please point out the problem tooth."

'What are you doing? We only take the teeth they leave under the pillow.'

Grassy breath?