Dental Hygiene Fanatic Gifts

"Great canines!"

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

Floss Street Vendor

'...Oh yeah? Well I've never heard of the 'denture fairy'.'

The inscription says: 'Whiter teeth; fresher breath.'

'You're not supposed to use 'dental floss' on dentures!'

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

'...your teeth are putting on weight.'

'I don't like the mediciney taste of this mouthwash either. I hate that taste of eyes of newt and turtle brains first thing in the morning.'

Here's my dental insurance card. Sorry. Twig had a visit within the last 6 months. This one's not covered. That was a check-up. This is an emergency. How about Twig's chipped tooth? Your policy doesn't cover cosmetic problems. Now I get it! My insurance is cosmetic. Have a nice day!

'I still have all my own teeth.'

'Please become a NHS dentist!'

'What are you doing? We only take the teeth they leave under the pillow.'

'This is a song about a man who visited his dentist. 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGH!' Thank you.'

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

'Most of the dental floss gets thrown out on used. No wonder I'm always broke.'

Grassy breath?

"Please point out the problem tooth."

Wanting to save his parents thousands in orthodontic costs, Lyle makes braces for himself in metal shop.

Three little pig's wolf has bad breath

'Does your company have a dental plan?'

'Let's see... how many squeezes did that commercial say to put on the brush?'

"So, you see, what you were really looking for was a deeper connection with your father, and not the dentist's office down the hall."

"If you won't brush or floss could you at least run your tongue over your teeth once in a while?"

Toothbrush Superhero.

The Tooth Fairy on Vacation. Museum of Natural History.

'I know! He has the worst breath!'

"Don't get too excited. Getting a filling does not make you a cyborg."

'I used some of that stripy toothpaste. Now I have striped teeth!'

' ... plus you need to floss better.'

"Thanks, Doc- you've put me back in business."