Oral Health Wizard Pillows

'I'm the toothpaste genie offering you a free dental plan!'

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

Floss Street Vendor

Dentist Training School.

"As a dental hygienist, the first thing I noticed was your smile."

"And if your teeth could hear you, Larry, what would you say to them?"

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

'I don't like the mediciney taste of this mouthwash either. I hate that taste of eyes of newt and turtle brains first thing in the morning.'

'You're not supposed to use 'dental floss' on dentures!'

'...your teeth are putting on weight.'

"The good new is I found your dentures. The bad news is the dog has a new chew toy."

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

The inscription says: 'Whiter teeth; fresher breath.'

'I still have all my own teeth.'

'Mind that molar, careful of that canine...'

Yoga Dentist has sign on wall: 'Open Mouth Insert Foot'

'Most of the dental floss gets thrown out on used. No wonder I'm always broke.'

'It wasn't the strength of your argument. It was your breath.'

'My, that's some cavity' (words echo on)

"That's a misconception. The key to salvation is, and always has been, daily flossing."

Grassy breath?

'Little girls are made of sugar and spice. Does the American Dental Association know about this?'

'You should have come to me sooner.'

'I want to lose weight, Doctor.' - 'Eat less, then.' - 'I need it to be more complicated than that.' - 'Why?' - 'How can I justify failing if it's that simple, eh?!' - 'Gah. He's breaking me...' -

'Maybe you should stay away from dental humour.'

'I know! He has the worst breath!'

'I used some of that stripy toothpaste. Now I have striped teeth!'

' ... plus you need to floss better.'

"If you won't brush or floss could you at least run your tongue over your teeth once in a while?"

"Don't get too excited. Getting a filling does not make you a cyborg."