Oral Health Gifts

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

"Your teeth are perfect, but your gums will have to come out."

"Gesundheit."

"My friend Janet brushed all the time and her teeth STILL fell out. She was only six!"

'I've broken a tooth.'

The bad news is that your teeth are shot. The good news is that you have the uvula of a man half your age.'

'I have had only one cavity in the last 10 visits to the dentist.'

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

"Thanks, Doc- you've put me back in business."

"Wait, I'm texting the Tooth Fairy that if I lose a tooth in here, she still owes me!"

"It doesn't actually work. But it's a great motivator for people to take better care of their teeth."

"The knife was my dentist's idea. It stops the teeth grinding."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Do you use a striped toothpaste...?"

Yoga Dentist has sign on wall: 'Open Mouth Insert Foot'

'I'm the toothpaste genie offering you a free dental plan!'

'That's the biggest cavity I've ever seen, ever seen?'

'One of my back teeth is giving me terrible pain, can you see it?' - 'You mean the green one?.'

'Maybe you should stay away from dental humour.'

'Hey, why am I strapped down?'

Dentist Training School.

'But toothache is the worst!'

'Got any old teeth for putting under pillows?'

'My teeth and I don't sleep together.'

"Your mouth is a disaster. Come back when you're ready to take our relationship seriously."

"Are you a gambling man?"

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

Oct. 1982: Researchers attempt an ill-fated procedure in great white shark oral hygiene.

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

'To grow a good beard, have good dental habits. First, brush with a concave brush to clean the teeth's facial surfaces. Then use a convex brush to reach flat surfaces. Then use a scalloped brush to be chic. Then floss to clean between teeth. Then use ...

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'