Oral Care Gifts

'Two cavities, that's not so bad. But I only have three teeth'

"A lot of leaves stuck in here. You haven't been flossing, have you?"

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

'O.K. Now say, Arrrghh!'

'A tough one, I'm afraid.'

"And if your teeth could hear you, Larry, what would you say to them?"

Mouthwash - kills germs.

"I really don't like popcorn, but it feels so good to floss afterward."

'It appears to be a side effect of the herbal toothpaste you're using.'

'Most of the dental floss gets thrown out on used. No wonder I'm always broke.'

Food, Drink, Different types of Toothpaste.

'Your breath is in mint condition. It needs a mint."

"When Baldo was 11, I told him he should brush his teeth every day...because car salesmen don't sell lowriders to boys with green teeth."

"Stop using math to make me look bad."

"Would you like cotton candy flavor, bubble gum flavor, or just accepting that, regardless, this is going to be incredibly unpleasant?"

"The good new is I found your dentures. The bad news is the dog has a new chew toy."

Adventures in Flossing

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

Oct. 1982: Researchers attempt an ill-fated procedure in great white shark oral hygiene.

Toothbrush Romance

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

'Oddly, few archaeologist comment on the flossing habits of Easter Island inhabitants.'

“It’s the only way we can get him to kiss her.”