Tooth Care Gifts

'This is going to be a level three.'

'We call her 'the Plaque-inator'. She takes on the tough cleaning jobs. . .'

"Of course, the money's good, but it's the teeth that keep me coming back."

'Excuse me, could you tell me where the nearest dentist is?'

'A tough one, I'm afraid.'

'Yummo Toothpaste contains no caffeine, and cleans your teeth better than Coke or Pepsi!'

'Looks like someone hasn't been flossing regularly.'

"Would you like to get an electric toothbrush?"

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

Toothbrush Romance

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

'What happend? I thought you went to the dentist for a cleaning.'

'My secret? Stay away from Halloween candy.'

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

Love conquers all, except plaque.

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

“It’s the only way we can get him to kiss her.”

Tooth fairy

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

'Oddly, few archaeologist comment on the flossing habits of Easter Island inhabitants.'

Car Dentistry.

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

'I'd say the nerve pain you're having in your jaw is due to an arrow through it, but perhaps you'd like to get a 2nd opinion from a dentist.'