Teeth Care Gifts

"Don't grind your teeth. That's my job."

'Mind that molar, careful of that canine...'

Grandma, you have something in your teeth.

'Your teeth are overlapping. Try wearing one set at a time.'

"Do you have any deals on used bridgework?"

'I know this sounds vain, but I'm thinking of having my teeth capped.'

J. Albert Yomp, Dentist...Please ring and open wide...WIDER!

Their honeymoon was a disaster. She spent all night in the bathroom, flossing.

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

"You have to give Martin credit, he's RELENTLESS in his search for dental caries."

"That's the strongest teeth whitener we carry. Smile in the dark and your mouth becomes a night light."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

Toothbrush Romance

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

Love conquers all, except plaque.

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

'Oddly, few archaeologist comment on the flossing habits of Easter Island inhabitants.'

“It’s the only way we can get him to kiss her.”

Tooth fairy

Car Dentistry.

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

The Tooth Ferret