Teeth Health Gifts

'I know you're in there.'

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

Toothbrush Romance

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

'What happend? I thought you went to the dentist for a cleaning.'

'My secret? Stay away from Halloween candy.'

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

Love conquers all, except plaque.

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

“It’s the only way we can get him to kiss her.”

'Oddly, few archaeologist comment on the flossing habits of Easter Island inhabitants.'

Tooth fairy

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

Car Dentistry.

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

"So you admit to flashing your new teeth at pretty ladies?"

'I'd say the nerve pain you're having in your jaw is due to an arrow through it, but perhaps you'd like to get a 2nd opinion from a dentist.'

The Tooth Ferret

'Tony can't come out to play now, he's on his orthodontopole!'

'And here's the toolkit.'

Floss Street Vendor

Transcend Dental Medication: "Prepare to let go of the pain."