Dental Health Skeptic Gifts

'You don't have to pay me yet.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

Floss Street Vendor

"He's so anti-regulation he won't even take a laxative."

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

I'm going to switch you to a new medication that does more advertising.

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

"Wellness clinics, stress-management checkups, hypertension screenings, lab tests, crisis after crisis. Fibre foods, fish-oil capsules, unsaturated spreads, plaque. Say what they may, McCormack, we did it our way."

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

The inscription says: 'Whiter teeth; fresher breath.'

The council wanted us to have a Healthy Lifestyle Monitor

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

'I still have all my own teeth.'

"Are you sure you don't want to try just one miracle drug before you die?"

"My parents are always complaining about my sweet tooth, but do they ever have a nice word to say about my wisdom tooth?"

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'

"I'd love to share these with you, but I'd never forgive myself if you got tooth decay."

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

'I'm the good witch, and this is my house - made entirely out of dental care products.'

'Your employer's health plan automatically cancels your coverage once you get sick.'

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."