Dental Health Skeptic Pillows

'You don't have to pay me yet.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

'My secret? Stay away from Halloween candy.'

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

Floss Street Vendor

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

"He's so anti-regulation he won't even take a laxative."

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

I'm going to switch you to a new medication that does more advertising.

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

"Wellness clinics, stress-management checkups, hypertension screenings, lab tests, crisis after crisis. Fibre foods, fish-oil capsules, unsaturated spreads, plaque. Say what they may, McCormack, we did it our way."

The council wanted us to have a Healthy Lifestyle Monitor

The inscription says: 'Whiter teeth; fresher breath.'

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

'I still have all my own teeth.'

"Are you sure you don't want to try just one miracle drug before you die?"

"My parents are always complaining about my sweet tooth, but do they ever have a nice word to say about my wisdom tooth?"

"Here, son, don't forget your glass of fizzy."

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

'Your employer's health plan automatically cancels your coverage once you get sick.'

'I'm the good witch, and this is my house - made entirely out of dental care products.'

"I'd love to share these with you, but I'd never forgive myself if you got tooth decay."

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'