Dental Hygiene Geek Pillows

Costco Floss

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

Floss Street Vendor

The inscription says: 'Whiter teeth; fresher breath.'

'...your teeth are putting on weight.'

'I don't like the mediciney taste of this mouthwash either. I hate that taste of eyes of newt and turtle brains first thing in the morning.'

'You're not supposed to use 'dental floss' on dentures!'

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

'I still have all my own teeth.'

'Please become a NHS dentist!'

Grassy breath?

'Most of the dental floss gets thrown out on used. No wonder I'm always broke.'

"Please point out the problem tooth."

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

'What are you doing? We only take the teeth they leave under the pillow.'

"I'll take your word for it. You don't have to show me your used floss."

Three little pig's wolf has bad breath

'Does your company have a dental plan?'

'Let's see... how many squeezes did that commercial say to put on the brush?'

"Don't get too excited. Getting a filling does not make you a cyborg."

'I used some of that stripy toothpaste. Now I have striped teeth!'

' ... plus you need to floss better.'

"Thanks, Doc- you've put me back in business."

'I know! He has the worst breath!'

Toothbrush Superhero.

"If you won't brush or floss could you at least run your tongue over your teeth once in a while?"

'You need to chuck more wood.'

"So, you see, what you were really looking for was a deeper connection with your father, and not the dentist's office down the hall."

Dentist as Sherlock Holmes investigating a patient's mouth