Dental Hygiene Nerds Pillows

"Yeah, I paid $29 for mouthwash -- it's a small batch mouthwash."

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

'...your teeth are putting on weight.'

The inscription says: 'Whiter teeth; fresher breath.'

'You're not supposed to use 'dental floss' on dentures!'

'I don't like the mediciney taste of this mouthwash either. I hate that taste of eyes of newt and turtle brains first thing in the morning.'

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

'I still have all my own teeth.'

'Mind that molar, careful of that canine...'

'Please become a NHS dentist!'

Grassy breath?

"Please point out the problem tooth."

"I'll take your word for it. You don't have to show me your used floss."

'What are you doing? We only take the teeth they leave under the pillow.'

'Most of the dental floss gets thrown out on used. No wonder I'm always broke.'

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

'You should have come to me sooner.'

Three little pig's wolf has bad breath

'Let's see... how many squeezes did that commercial say to put on the brush?'

'Does your company have a dental plan?'

'I know! He has the worst breath!'

"Don't get too excited. Getting a filling does not make you a cyborg."

Dentist as Sherlock Holmes investigating a patient's mouth

"Looks like you're due for a cleaning and a sharpening."

Toothbrush Superhero.

The Tooth Fairy on Vacation. Museum of Natural History.

'I used some of that stripy toothpaste. Now I have striped teeth!'

"So, you see, what you were really looking for was a deeper connection with your father, and not the dentist's office down the hall."

'You need to chuck more wood.'

"If you won't brush or floss could you at least run your tongue over your teeth once in a while?"

Dentimony.

'Says here that you broke your tooth while eating a human. Sorry sir, but accidents that happen during 'food-for-fun' are not covered under your dental plan.'