Oral Care Lover Gifts

Brush your teeth!

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

'...Oh yeah? Well I've never heard of the 'denture fairy'.'

Dentist Training School.

Floss Street Vendor

"You always said nothing would ever come between us."

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

"And if your teeth could hear you, Larry, what would you say to them?"

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

'You're not supposed to use 'dental floss' on dentures!'

Here's my dental insurance card. Sorry. Twig had a visit within the last 6 months. This one's not covered. That was a check-up. This is an emergency. How about Twig's chipped tooth? Your policy doesn't cover cosmetic problems. Now I get it! My insurance is cosmetic. Have a nice day!

'...your teeth are putting on weight.'

"The good new is I found your dentures. The bad news is the dog has a new chew toy."

'I don't like the mediciney taste of this mouthwash either. I hate that taste of eyes of newt and turtle brains first thing in the morning.'

'Please become a NHS dentist!'

Vernon has a Floss with Death

'Mind that molar, careful of that canine...'

'What are you doing? We only take the teeth they leave under the pillow.'

'This is a song about a man who visited his dentist. 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGH!' Thank you.'

'Most of the dental floss gets thrown out on used. No wonder I'm always broke.'

'Here's a new toothbrush...I've been using that one on the dog's teeth!'

"Please point out the problem tooth."

Grassy breath?

Remember to always brush your teeth!

'I'm the good witch, and this is my house - made entirely out of dental care products.'

Wanting to save his parents thousands in orthodontic costs, Lyle makes braces for himself in metal shop.

"Wool is O.K. but there's a fortune in dental floss."

'You should have come to me sooner.'

'Does your company have a dental plan?'

'Let's see... how many squeezes did that commercial say to put on the brush?'

"Looks like you're due for a cleaning and a sharpening."