Oral Healthcare Gifts

"It's the modern dentist's name for x-rays."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

Oct. 1982: Researchers attempt an ill-fated procedure in great white shark oral hygiene.

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

'To grow a good beard, have good dental habits. First, brush with a concave brush to clean the teeth's facial surfaces. Then use a convex brush to reach flat surfaces. Then use a scalloped brush to be chic. Then floss to clean between teeth. Then use ...

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

Car wash / Mouth wash

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

"Yes, use an electric toothbrush but you still have to floss."

Dentist Training School.

Floss Street Vendor

"Phew! Your breath. What have you been eating?"

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

"You always said nothing would ever come between us."

'I've got another loose tooth - It's not your cooking is it mum?'

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

'I'm so glad to hear that your teeth are falling out too, Manfred - I thought it was my mom's cooking!'

"And if your teeth could hear you, Larry, what would you say to them?"

'I'm going to throw out my old toothbrush and get a new one.'

'You're not supposed to use 'dental floss' on dentures!'

"Damn these super powers!"

'I don't like the mediciney taste of this mouthwash either. I hate that taste of eyes of newt and turtle brains first thing in the morning.'

'That's my husband, Brad. He's a dentist.'

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

"The good new is I found your dentures. The bad news is the dog has a new chew toy."

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

'...your teeth are putting on weight.'

'Your tooth still sensitive to hot liquids my dear?'