Oral Health Specialist Gifts

"We lied about the hellfire, now pick up the floss and get to work."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

Sweet surprise.

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

'Oddly, few archaeologist comment on the flossing habits of Easter Island inhabitants.'

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

Dentist Training School.

'Hey buddy, got any bad breath mints?'

Floss Street Vendor

"You know what the Serengeti lacks?—Decent deserts."

"As a dental hygienist, the first thing I noticed was your smile."

Tooth fairy.

"You always said nothing would ever come between us."

"And if your teeth could hear you, Larry, what would you say to them?"

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

'I don't like the mediciney taste of this mouthwash either. I hate that taste of eyes of newt and turtle brains first thing in the morning.'

"FYI that the novocaine will numb the pain caused by the drill but won’t help with the pain caused by the overhead adult contemporary music."

'...your teeth are putting on weight.'

'I'm going to throw out my old toothbrush and get a new one.'

"When it comes to what you eat, this healthy plate simply can't compete, with something sweet!"

"The good new is I found your dentures. The bad news is the dog has a new chew toy."

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

"Well, that's right. It is a disco ball. The regular lamp is in the shop."

'That's my husband, Brad. He's a dentist.'

"Sorry, but it is not negotiable! You have to let Tim clean your teeth twice a day!"

'Your tooth still sensitive to hot liquids my dear?'