Online Services Gifts

'Doc Com'

'You know, you can do this all online now.'

Internet wedding - 'Apparently, you get a 40% discount if you marry on-line...'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

Perils of Home Banking

You'll require a better credit rating before we we can raise the limit on your card.

'I'm afraid the doctor can't see you today. You could visit his web page instead.'

"So what else can we get our customers to do online themselves and charge them for it?"

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

Moses on the web

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

"OMG, LOL!"

Nervous Oral Testing

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

"Sorry, website closed for lunch."

Online Dating

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

Travelogue

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

'I caught him watching tv, surfing the net, and playing video games ..book him!'

Technology and Love

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

"Hack back with all you've got!"

'Ask your computer.'

"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

'How do I get people to visit my...'

'I got caught in a blogstorm.'

"You spend far too much time on social media, Joe!"