Online Communication Gifts

'Sorry - I'd love to come out, but I'm busy updating my Facebook status.'

"Chirp and peep are passé. Now, it's all Twitter!"

So good to meet you, Facebook to Facebook.

"We don't communicate any more..."

'Oh, man!! When I invited my Facebook friends to visit, I didn't think they would all show up.'

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

Tw@tter (teenager transfixed by social networking site).

"Who would of thought that with this many 'friends' one could feel so alone."

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

'If you want to know how my day went, dad, you'll have to log onto my Facebook page. It's updated daily.'

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

Upset mother to son: 'Would it kill you to check your poor mother's blog once in a while?'

'I don't care what your chat group says. I say you're becoming overly dependent on technological gadgetry.'

'I'm held accountable for my diagnoses by the friends in my chat room.'

'And whenever I attempt cybersex, my computer freezes.'

'This woman is on the other side of the world and yet I feel so connected!'

"I have the new list of approved tweets."

'See you later, Steve - I have to catch up on my tweets.'

Moses on the web

'How do I get people to visit my...'

'Don't you just long for a case of good old sexual transgression rather than inappropriate blogs,tweets and chats ?'

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"There's something you should know about me."

....Now press "delete"...

Technology and Love

"I like you, but only in a Facebook thumbs up kind of way."

"Forget it, Goliath, I've decided to attack you online instead."

To trim costs, Dr. Vermier began examining his dental patients via Web cam.

Does Twig ever hang out with friends? Of course. She's with them now. She's tweeting Emily, texting Ingrid and scanning Jonah's, Pete's and Ryan's Facebook pages. How friendly!

"That time you realized your hashtags were longer than your message. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethingsWrongHere #spiritual-awakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigh #seriously? #wontSome-bodyThink-of-The-Children?" "ERROR: You have exceeded the number of characters allowed." "That time you. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethings-WrongHere #spiritualawakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigh #seriously? #

"Sorry, I don't really believe in being social offline."

"Aren't we friends on Facebook?"

Zoom Nation

"What the...? He un-best friended me!"

Coffee, jerk! What's the matter? Sadie discovered flaming, i.e. hostile and insulting interaction among internet users. It's been incredible. Who can sleep when you've got endless opportunity to make people feel like crud about themselves?! I also need prescription drugs and steroids. Flaming out.