Online Communication Fan Gifts

"Tell you what, just tweet me your order when you're ready."

Moses on the web

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

"OMG, LOL!"

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

Online Dating

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

Technology and Love

"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."

"The days of 'herding cats' are over: my friends and I meet through video-conferencing now..."

'How do I get people to visit my...'

'I don't care if he is the most interesting man in the world, his tweets about what he had for breakfast are still boring.'

'I got caught in a blogstorm.'

Zoom Wedding

I've founded my own religion. Of course you have, Rudy. It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths. If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted. What are the central tenets of your religion? A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation.

"We're giving you our complete cooperation. There's no need to bark at us!"

'I don't care what your chat group says. I say you're becoming overly dependent on technological gadgetry.'

"He just sits there, trying to think of the tweet to end all tweets."

We met online.

I see. And why do you think you often feel lonely?

Look, dork, I won't ask again. Will you help me use a computer? Maybe. What for? Internet Scrabble. I hear it is possible to play – what is the word? Online? I should like to send data over cyberspace. Through cyberspace.

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

Workplace Confidentiality.

'Yes, a winky face is correcy...But in ancient times, the semicolon was actually used to separate archaic written devices know as 'complete sentences.''

"I have the new list of approved tweets."

'Hurry up, I'm dying to use the blog'

'What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his internet provider?'

Parrot annoying dog.

Whoever said "Brevity is the soul of wit" must have not read many tweets!

'It's an email of a text that someone twittered...I think.'

"Sorry, I don't really believe in being social offline."

Unsocial Networking.

"When did tweeting become such an angry thing?"