Online Connectivity Gifts

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Moses on the web

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"OMG, LOL!"

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

Online Dating

"She looks just like in your photos."

'You know, you can do this all online now.'

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

Technology and Love

"We're staying together for the sake of our facebook page..."

"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

"That's what I love about social media. I can have connections with thousands of people and yet still be completely isolated and alone."

'How do I get people to visit my...'

'I got caught in a blogstorm.'

Zoom Wedding

"No, no … the sashimi is fine. But I’m not crazy about your Wi-Fi signal."

'I don't care if he is the most interesting man in the world, his tweets about what he had for breakfast are still boring.'

'I don't care what your chat group says. I say you're becoming overly dependent on technological gadgetry.'

"The Curse of the robot followers: At first, Rob was thrilled with the all the attention and followers."

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

We met online.

'Follow the revolution on Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, Blogspot,,,'

"He just sits there, trying to think of the tweet to end all tweets."

I see. And why do you think you often feel lonely?

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

Look, dork, I won't ask again. Will you help me use a computer? Maybe. What for? Internet Scrabble. I hear it is possible to play – what is the word? Online? I should like to send data over cyberspace. Through cyberspace.

Looks like all your Facebook friends sent you holiday greetings cards.

"I still maintain an online presence."