Online Gamer Gifts

'Close the chat room and start your homework or I'll pull the plug and switch you to America Off-line.'

We have your internet connection.

March of the Zoombies.

Bring it on, Scrabble nerd! Want to tell him directly? What do you mean? There's a chat function so you can taunt other online Scrabble players. Just type in your insult and hit send. Have I died and gone to heaven? The internet. And I suspect it's met its match.

Come to bed, Snookums. In a minute. Are you still playing Scrabble? And flaming my opponents. I just crushed an eight-year-old by 100 points and then told him his parents don't love him because he's illiterate! How nice you've found a hobby. I feel so nurtured.

'This is fun, Dad -- I'm in a flame war with Vladimir Putin!'

Net Bubbie

'The genius is that WiFi only stays on for seconds at a time.'

Fantasy Football

Mac OS 20

'I've told you it's not the old pencil and paper battleships.'

Obsession with the Internet.

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

"You've got computer-breath."

Second lifeReal life.

Computer games

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

"Wanna toss the ol' virtual pigskin?"

"Yes, you were born into the era of passwords and user-names. . . why do you ask, Mycat_2014?"

Whistler's Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandson

"Kevin, I'm leaving you to find myself ... a better Internet connection."

'Jeff is a tackle on his online college football team.'

Psychiatry. I got in touch with my inner child, and now I'm going broke buying video games!

"You think you have problems? My entire wing command was just destroyed."

Modern Day Kids Playing 'Telephone'

"All this online learning sort of makes you miss the head lice days, huh?"

Internet Cafe.

"Until you clean you room, I'm confiscating your iPod, your Xbox and your jester!"

STRIP Hambone: Computer armageddon

Modern Childhood

'I know I can't take it with me, but what about computer simulations?'

'I prefer to work vicariously as opposed to remotely.'

"I'm a High-tech mouse hunter.'

'I agree. You should definitely increase your refresh rate!'