Online Gaming Gifts

"You can't get government subsidies for your Farmville Farm."

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

'Dude, I know the building is on fire, but I'm gambling online, and I'm on a winning streak. I can't leave now.'

'You spend all your time indoors trolling people. In my day we went out doors and mugged someone.'

Fantasy Football League training Camp.

'And quit telling me to get a life. You know perfectly well it's too late for that.'

"Go out and play? What is this, 1962?"

Online poker night, all players have laptops.

'Brad and I met online, webcast our wedding, took a virtual honeymoon...and now we're divorcing through an online attorney.'

Email Forwards - Self Treatment for Hemorrhoids.

"Do not interfere, Helen. This is between me and my avatar!"

A frat party at an online university

I agree with you Sadie. It's a total waste. What is? Facebook. It just sucks up your time, with the chatting and the updates and the Scrabble playing. Scrabble? People play on Facebook, or their iPhones, or casual game sites. Total waste. I love Scrabble! Hook baited. Internal conflict!

'Mafia Online.'

"I'll only be a few minutes more dad!"

"Yes, you were born into the era of passwords and user-names. . . why do you ask, Mycat_2014?"

'Doesn't it seem ironic to you that your avitar is a fierce soldier and you live in your parent's basement?' - 'I think of it as being entrenched in an underground bunker.'

Surfing the Internet Wave.

'Video games don't seem to have done my dad any harm.'

'Unfortunately Bill Didn't Pay Attention During the Class Session on Safe Computing.' A kid not realizing an old geezer is the person he's chatting with on the computer says, 'Wow, this gamer has to be the coolest kid on the planet.'

"All this online learning sort of makes you miss the head lice days, huh?"

Zoom Nation

Internet Cafe.

'Her name is Tracey. We met in a chat room on the internet.'

COVID Tech Fortress

'We're in a fantasy team owners' league, we locked out our players and came here to yuck it up.'

'Enter a credit card of your avatar is history.'

'Gambling while taking a bath? Have you lost your mind?'

Parachutist using computer in freefall, also using a parachute.

'The diagnosis is that I'm a sad man who is too lazy to leave the house.'

When God works online.

"Stop pouting, Randy. You've survived other Internet outages before."

Memory Shtick

"Kevin, I'm leaving you to find myself ... a better Internet connection."

"I don't know how to tell him but I've discovered Dad and I are playing each other on line."