Online Disillusionist Gifts

"My social networking groups aren't doing for me what I thought they would do for me."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"David live a rich, full life, despite what his Wikipedia page says."

Coffee. The phrase "where everybody knows your name" used to sound warm and friendly. Now, with all our personal information exposed online, it sounds scary!

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

'My daughter read on the internet about a hip replacement with free built-in MP3 player,'

Can't Vote/Why Vote?

Down With Wikipedia

"...And those are some of the books I would have read if the Internet had never been invented."

"Well, who you gonna believe? Me or Wikipedia?"

"When I was a kid there was no internet. If you wanted to bully someone, you had to do it to their face."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

'I have a twitter account to slag off my facebook friends and I use facebook to insult my followers on twitter.'

"I said, can you hear me now...?!"

"I had to close all my social media accounts. They were making me anti-social."

"No, as of yet, they are not on the internet!"

It's my manifesto on living "off the grid," mainly compiled from my blog, tweets and Facebook posts.

"Trust your instinct son, not the rubbish spewed on Social Media..."

'If you don't believe me, Google it.'

2After using the Internet all day, Brad doesn't like any kind of popup."

"You're suffering from banner blindness."

"Oh look, dear. when you press 'alt-right' it types a little swastika!"

One more question, Lance

On 'Friends Reunited' everyone can claim to be a front page maodel for GQ Magazine.

"I found out something last night that just totally destroyed my worldview."

"The internet begs to differ."

'I can't even remember what I had for breakfast. How do you expect me to remember another bloody password!?'

'Not another powerpoint sermon!'

That business about the meek inheriting the earth sounds an awful lot like an internet scam.

"Dude - don't believe in all that nonsense you read on the internet."

Shooting the Messenger

The anti-social network: 'In other words, you want to help the internet blow itself up.'

Help. Forgot All My Account Passwords.

'Oh my gosh!!! What are you doing giving out our credit card information online?!!!'

"If you send these people $50 they'll tell you how to make money online."