Digital Discontent Gifts

'Not another powerpoint sermon!'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

'Who said romance is dead? I just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

How many times do I have to tell you. . . you're broke! Broke! Broke!

'I accidentally hacked into Mom's microwave oven.'

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

"I'm sorry, Tom, you'll have to come in. I can't diagnose just from your tweets!"

'Not the bloody batteries again.'

putin and social media

2After using the Internet all day, Brad doesn't like any kind of popup."

One more question, Lance

"Sorry, but road rage is next door. This room is for people who get frustrated with their compute and take it out on their keyboards."

"Far out Nigel, I know you're a purist, but at some point, you'll need to switch to e-books like the rest of us..."

Internet crap.

'Here's the man who created the 'Exploding Email'.'

"Cool! When I'm dead I want to get uploaded to the cloud, too!"

Shooting the Messenger

'This must be your lcuky day. You have spam e-mail and spam fax.'

Lost in the laptop...

"I get instant messages, but they might as well be snail mail by the time I can get to the computer on my walker!"

"iTunes never remembers my username and password. Such a power move."

"Many years ago during the Brexit debate, your grandfather was one of the greatest keyboard warriors of his time."

"I'm gonna boycott twitter. But is it a boycott if I never tweeted before?"

To donate text 'tramp' plus the amount to 88823.

'And you can no longer talk to people face to face!'

'My computers down again!'

Password Change Refuseniks

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

"Here's my Christmas list. . . I included the Ebay URL's."

You're really worried about getting stung, aren't you?

"He applied for a job at one of those new-age digital tech companies, but they never replied to his telegram."

Trapeze Artist

"Eyes on your own paper. Don't let me catch you looking at your neighbor's phone."