Digital Dissatisfaction Participant Gifts

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

How many times do I have to tell you. . . you're broke! Broke! Broke!

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

"They say it's the first sign of aging - not being able to keep up with new technology."

'Not the bloody batteries again.'

'Will this job requirer me to look up from my phone?'

2After using the Internet all day, Brad doesn't like any kind of popup."

"Sorry, but road rage is next door. This room is for people who get frustrated with their compute and take it out on their keyboards."

Internet crap.

'I'm busy flinging birds at pigs, go away.'

"Apparently, it wasn't a figure of speech when he said his computer locking up made him so mad his head was going to explode."

"It says it's sick and tired of telling me to update my software and if I don't do it right now it's going to explode."

"iTunes never remembers my username and password. Such a power move."

"I'm gonna boycott twitter. But is it a boycott if I never tweeted before?"

'I'm not checking any political sites, or following any politicians on twitter. I'm going liarless.'

"I get instant messages, but they might as well be snail mail by the time I can get to the computer on my walker!"

'The doctor will see you shortly. He has a few hundred email jokes he has to forward.'

'If you want to pay your bill, press one. If you want to discuss your bill, press two. If you're frustrated because you can't just talk to a living, breathing, human being, press three.'

"Hang on...I think you're losing me."

'Can't you take out the trash, Mom? ? I'm busy deleting junk e-mail.'

'My computers down again!'

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

Trapeze Artist

Health and Safety man on mobile about to fall down manhole.

Curse my hooves, and predictive text!

"Eyes on your own paper. Don't let me catch you looking at your neighbor's phone."

"My social networking groups aren't doing for me what I thought they would do for me."

Always when you're busy!

"I don't think tech support can help me. I need a tech support group."

"All of our operators are assisting other customers. Due to the unusually high volume of dumb questions, wait time will be longer than usual."

You may click here for five hours of simulated waterboarding, or try your password yet again.