Online Skeptics Gifts

'I am simply saying that something is not right when your whole social life is online.'

Rare Books

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

"David live a rich, full life, despite what his Wikipedia page says."

"I'd like to see you do this online."

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

'Have you two taken the COSMO 'compatibility test'?'

Coffee. The phrase "where everybody knows your name" used to sound warm and friendly. Now, with all our personal information exposed online, it sounds scary!

'My daughter read on the internet about a hip replacement with free built-in MP3 player,'

The anti-social network: 'Hey Jeffrey...I need help setting up my dad's anti-social network.'

Down With Wikipedia

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

'Love gets the credit, but business makes the world go round.'

"Gramps, you were alive before everyone knew what you were doing on social media... What was that called?" "Bliss!"

"...And those are some of the books I would have read if the Internet had never been invented."

"Whatever happened to throwing Frisbees around?"

"Well, who you gonna believe? Me or Wikipedia?"

"When I was a kid there was no internet. If you wanted to bully someone, you had to do it to their face."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

"They say it's the first sign of aging - not being able to keep up with new technology."

"Of course you couldn't be replaced by an app. It would take at least two."

Curious George, Dad

"My self esteem is low ... how come I never got hacked?"

Social media and privacy

'That's funny - the computer said we had mail..'

Tunnel of Love.

"Well, yes. It was love at first sight. But only because I was drunk at the time."

Fresh Eggs: Now With Free How To Suck Eggs Download!

"Hon, this is Mr Atherton. He's going to show us how we can commercially exploit our marriage."

"The 'Age of the Computer'? We get a pencil on a piece of string!"

"No, as of yet, they are not on the internet!"

Triple espresso. Forget it, Uncle Mort. Your doctors said no caffeine. I am not your Uncle Mort, I am someone else altogether. Oh yeah? Who are you? I am … Drinkum … Coffeeman … Worthington-Smythe … of the Florida Coffeeman-Worthington-Smythes. You may have heard of us ... we're a family of um ... Troubadours. I, myself, wrote several ballads for the likes of Sinatra, Pat Boone, and Jimi Hendrix. So if I were to Google that right now, Google would confirm that? Google is an abomination!!! One ge

I've traveled back through time to warn: The aliens are here. Open Mike Night Presents Future Guy. They hitched rides in on Halley's Comet every time it's near. Living nanites masquerading as technology … depending on the gullibility of you and me. 200,000 years of riding horses and buggies ... and suddenly we're 3-D printing tools and cars and trees? They're everywhere, just biding time to finish their big plan. They're in your phones, your watch, your cars, and they are nearly done. The brain

Be sure to tell us if the school tries cyberspying again. Ok, mom. It's wrong to snap webcam pics of students. Uh-huh. They shouldn't use computers that way! Besides, it's a waste of time. They could just check the kid's facebook page, What were they thinking?

"What do you want to do for Valentine's Day?"