Online Dating Skeptics Gifts

When it comes to misrepresenting oneself in the world of online dating, I think you've set a new record: height, weight, age, income, job description, gender and species.

Life is for the birds.

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

Right click for yes...

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

"You may now kiss the bride."

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"Everybody meets online these days."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

Today's love

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

cuPad

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

"I thought he was into fitness, but his 'fitness tracker' turned out to be a flea and tick collar."

'Your website or mine?'

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

"It must have been fate that brought us together."

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"Your online profile says you like to foxtrot."

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

"I don't remember him or the meal or what movie we saw. All I remember is I wore the right jeans."