Googling Skeptic Gifts

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

"Finally, a succinct corporate mission statement."

'My daughter read on the internet about a hip replacement with free built-in MP3 player,'

Down With Wikipedia

"...And those are some of the books I would have read if the Internet had never been invented."

"Well, who you gonna believe? Me or Wikipedia?"

"When I was a kid there was no internet. If you wanted to bully someone, you had to do it to their face."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

"We've concluded that an alarming percentage of the population are experiencing involuntary eye-rolling at the word 'inclusion'."

"They say it's the first sign of aging - not being able to keep up with new technology."

"If I hear the word ‘mindfulness’ one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it."

"My self esteem is low ... how come I never got hacked?"

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

"No, as of yet, they are not on the internet!"

'I know those big money deals from NIGERIA are a scam, but this e-mail is from NEW GUINEA!'

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

Expert examining painting: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid it's a fake."

"You're suffering from banner blindness."

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

"Oh look, dear. when you press 'alt-right' it types a little swastika!"

"I found out something last night that just totally destroyed my worldview."

"The internet begs to differ."

"'Love makes a Subaru a Subaru' my eye!"

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

"Dude - don't believe in all that nonsense you read on the internet."

"My religion makes sense if you want it to."

"We didn't learn anything today. We had to unlearn what the substitute taught us yesterday."

"I wonder if we'll still have to eat kale this summer."

"First, I'll need to see an audited statement of revenue and expenses."

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