Googling Skeptic T-Shirts

Triple espresso. Forget it, Uncle Mort. Your doctors said no caffeine. I am not your Uncle Mort, I am someone else altogether. Oh yeah? Who are you? I am … Drinkum … Coffeeman … Worthington-Smythe … of the Florida Coffeeman-Worthington-Smythes. You may have heard of us ... we're a family of um ... Troubadours. I, myself, wrote several ballads for the likes of Sinatra, Pat Boone, and Jimi Hendrix. So if I were to Google that right now, Google would confirm that? Google is an abomination!!! One ge

"David live a rich, full life, despite what his Wikipedia page says."

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

"Finally, a succinct corporate mission statement."

Coffee. The phrase "where everybody knows your name" used to sound warm and friendly. Now, with all our personal information exposed online, it sounds scary!

'My daughter read on the internet about a hip replacement with free built-in MP3 player,'

Down With Wikipedia

"...And those are some of the books I would have read if the Internet had never been invented."

"Well, who you gonna believe? Me or Wikipedia?"

"When I was a kid there was no internet. If you wanted to bully someone, you had to do it to their face."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

"They say it's the first sign of aging - not being able to keep up with new technology."

"We've concluded that an alarming percentage of the population are experiencing involuntary eye-rolling at the word 'inclusion'."

"My self esteem is low ... how come I never got hacked?"

"If I hear the word ‘mindfulness’ one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it."

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

"No, as of yet, they are not on the internet!"

'If you don't believe me, Google it.'

'I know those big money deals from NIGERIA are a scam, but this e-mail is from NEW GUINEA!'

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

Expert examining painting: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid it's a fake."

They all have to get down the slide in 2.7 seconds or we lose our funding. In schools soon: The recess aptitude test.

"Oh look, dear. when you press 'alt-right' it types a little swastika!"

"You're suffering from banner blindness."

"'Love makes a Subaru a Subaru' my eye!"

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

"I found out something last night that just totally destroyed my worldview."

"The internet begs to differ."

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

"I wonder if we'll still have to eat kale this summer."

"We didn't learn anything today. We had to unlearn what the substitute taught us yesterday."

"Dude - don't believe in all that nonsense you read on the internet."

"My religion makes sense if you want it to."

That business about the meek inheriting the earth sounds an awful lot like an internet scam.

"First, I'll need to see an audited statement of revenue and expenses."