Cyber Skeptic Gifts

'I know those big money deals from NIGERIA are a scam, but this e-mail is from NEW GUINEA!'

"My self esteem is low ... how come I never got hacked?"

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

UK border controls relaxed.

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

Rare Books

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

I.T. Fear

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Computer Class.

Library door sign says, 'We have encyclopedias ... the original Facebook!'

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

"David live a rich, full life, despite what his Wikipedia page says."

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

"I'd like to see you do this online."

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

We need to see him because there's no satellite-based system to guide us on a trip down the path to enlightenment.

Censorship? We Don't Do That Here.

Privacy

Coffee. The phrase "where everybody knows your name" used to sound warm and friendly. Now, with all our personal information exposed online, it sounds scary!

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

'My daughter read on the internet about a hip replacement with free built-in MP3 player,'

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

Big Brother.