Cyber Security Skeptic Gifts

"Really? Does everything have to be password protected?"

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

UK border controls relaxed.

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

I.T. Fear

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Computer Class.

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

Library door sign says, 'We have encyclopedias ... the original Facebook!'

"David live a rich, full life, despite what his Wikipedia page says."

A Little Extra

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

Coffee. The phrase "where everybody knows your name" used to sound warm and friendly. Now, with all our personal information exposed online, it sounds scary!

"I think earth's antivirus software expired."

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

Privacy

We need to see him because there's no satellite-based system to guide us on a trip down the path to enlightenment.

Censorship? We Don't Do That Here.

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

'My daughter read on the internet about a hip replacement with free built-in MP3 player,'

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."