Security Skeptics Gifts

'Can't say. It's private.'

"There are no wrong answers - only perceived threats to national security."

Skip the TSA scans by wearing a Burka

Terrornomics

Having a welcome mat and a moat sends mixed messages.

CIA foils new underwear bomb plot. America prepares for more intrusive TSA airport inspections...

'Really, a foreign wine? What will the NSA think?'

"In an effort to improve building security, you will no longer be allowed to work inside the building."

The disappearance of the journalist Jamal Khashoggi

UK border controls relaxed.

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

Privacy Conference Security

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"I'd like to see you do this online."

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

'Since PRISM, nothing is 'off the record' any more.'

The anti-social network: 'Hey Jeffrey...I need help setting up my dad's anti-social network.'

'If someone sent an email and the National Security Agency did not spy on it, would it still be an email?'

Down With Wikipedia

"Your call may be monitored by the CIA, NSA, Russians, Chinese, space aliens..."

"Our constantant surveillance indicates workers are becoming more paranoid."

'CIA Surveillance of my senate committee violates the fourth amendment...'

"Whatever happened to throwing Frisbees around?"

Obama's surveillance of America.

"Gramps, you were alive before everyone knew what you were doing on social media... What was that called?" "Bliss!"

"As part of our new privacy policy we stopped using hidden cameras."

"No, your cats don't bother me. I work under constant surveillance at the office."

Your DNA is in the database.

'This is you hotel. . . it has no TV, but every room is equipped with CCTV.'

"Dad, can you read?"

"Your calls may be monitored for training purposes..."

"Of course you couldn't be replaced by an app. It would take at least two."