Tech Skeptics Gifts

You can't smell an online profile...

"I'd like to see you do this online."

'I really miss the old days when we were smarter than our phones.'

The Off-line Store

"'Bring the GPS,' I said. You said, 'Don't worry, I got breadcrumbs...'"

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

"So...As I was saying, nothing will actually change..."

"If this e-mail craze goes on, soon there won't be any mailmen to bite!"

"Remember when we got clothing to sniff instead of tracking numbers?"

"Gramps, you were alive before everyone knew what you were doing on social media... What was that called?" "Bliss!"

"Your car warranty is about to expire..."

"The wonders of technology always keep me wondering."

"Still killing the anonymous, but with greater anonymity."

"Sorry I'm late for the video meeting, I have dial up."

"I used to want 15 minutes of fame. Now I'd settle for 5 minutes of privacy."

"No...Losing your smart-phone doesn't entitle you to a disability allowance."

"Of course you couldn't be replaced by an app. It would take at least two."

"Not only am I not 'on line', I don't know what 'on line' means..."

"Tia Carmne, you grew up with no cellphones, no computers and no TV?"

"The 'Age of the Computer'? We get a pencil on a piece of string!"

"I would like a book."

"Customer services?...about this self cleaning cooker."

"I'm old school. Pass me a handwritten note."

Fresh Eggs: Now With Free How To Suck Eggs Download!

'I don't think those apps have made Junior smarter.'

Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!

"I see that you're very concerned about the rise of AI technology."

The anti-social network: 'Hey Jeffrey...I need help setting up my dad's anti-social network.'

'The job calls for someone who is computer literate but, since you don't know computers, simply being literate is enough.'

"Whatever happened to throwing Frisbees around?"

Earvin is having second thoughts about getting a cellular pay-phone.