Tech Skeptics Pillows

You can't smell an online profile...

"I'd like to see you do this online."

'I really miss the old days when we were smarter than our phones.'

The Off-line Store

"'Bring the GPS,' I said. You said, 'Don't worry, I got breadcrumbs...'"

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

'According to the map, we're about to sail off the end of the earth.'

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

"Anything with amazon, I hear they treat their workforce like robots."

"So...As I was saying, nothing will actually change..."

"If this e-mail craze goes on, soon there won't be any mailmen to bite!"

"Remember when we got clothing to sniff instead of tracking numbers?"

"Gramps, you were alive before everyone knew what you were doing on social media... What was that called?" "Bliss!"

"Your car warranty is about to expire..."

"The wonders of technology always keep me wondering."

"Still killing the anonymous, but with greater anonymity."

"Sorry I'm late for the video meeting, I have dial up."

"Hmmm. I'm gonna have to Google this."

"I used to want 15 minutes of fame. Now I'd settle for 5 minutes of privacy."

"No...Losing your smart-phone doesn't entitle you to a disability allowance."

"Of course you couldn't be replaced by an app. It would take at least two."

"Not only am I not 'on line', I don't know what 'on line' means..."

"Tia Carmne, you grew up with no cellphones, no computers and no TV?"

"The 'Age of the Computer'? We get a pencil on a piece of string!"

Precisely Inprecise

"I would like a book."

"Customer services?...about this self cleaning cooker."

"I'm old school. Pass me a handwritten note."

Fresh Eggs: Now With Free How To Suck Eggs Download!

'I don't think those apps have made Junior smarter.'

I've traveled back through time to warn: The aliens are here. Open Mike Night Presents Future Guy. They hitched rides in on Halley's Comet every time it's near. Living nanites masquerading as technology … depending on the gullibility of you and me. 200,000 years of riding horses and buggies ... and suddenly we're 3-D printing tools and cars and trees? They're everywhere, just biding time to finish their big plan. They're in your phones, your watch, your cars, and they are nearly done. The brain

Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!

"I see that you're very concerned about the rise of AI technology."

The anti-social network: 'Hey Jeffrey...I need help setting up my dad's anti-social network.'

I've lost faith in everything, Randy. I feel like a tiny raft drifting in a stormy sea. There is no up. There is no down. There entire foundation of the world is made of flimsy tissue paper. Maybe the Buddhists are right. Maybe nothing is really real at all. Internet going down for a few hours last week isn't that big a deal, little buddy. Yes, it really is.