Technology Skeptics Pillows

"I don't like when we're assigned homework from books. They keep working when the wi-fi goes out."

'He has to be older than he looks. He uses a watch to tell time.'

"I miss expense accounts."

"Dad, can you read?"

For word balloons, press "1." For captions, press "2."

I dunno - I don't really trust technology. Click here.

In one mile, take Exit 82. Are you nuts? That route is all stoplights! It's still faster! What? What version ARE you? ONE of us has to turn off our GPS.

I googled your great-great-great-great-grandmother. There's no mention of her at all. You nincompoop. They didn't have Facebook or Tweeter or anything in the 1760s. You have to march your lazy behind into a hall of records and search through the catacombs for a dusty old file. By "file," I mean an actual file folder with supple paper, not a blinky little folder cartoon on a glowy computer screen. (Sigh) ... by "paper," I mean ...

It's Rudy's annual treecation – A low-cost vacation spent sitting under his tree. This year, a twist: His gadgets have lost battery life and his portable generator is out … Don't panic. Maybe this is a battery tree. Just leaves. Or maybe there's an outlet. Bark. What kind of tree is this?! Proudly powered by sun and roots.

Shaker TV

'…dial tone…dial tone…dial tone…'

'This is Thompson, he'll be getting your tea department online and working on it's global brand.'

Thank you for banking with us online. Please be patient. All our tellers are busy with other customers.

'And you're sure this mobile won't affect young Damolles?'

"Technology isn't so fancy. When I was a girl, we had something like a 24-hour weather channel, too!"

Rare Book Store: Telephone Directories

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

Rare Books

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

I.T. Fear

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Computer Class.

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

Library door sign says, 'We have encyclopedias ... the original Facebook!'

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism