Tech Skeptic Pillows

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"Look, we've got to improve our voter-tracking algorithms if we want to make more accurate wild-ass guesses."

Watching The Watchers.

'I think we're being educated for failure...'

Luddite Olympics.

'The doctor doesn't like computers, he prefers to lose patients' records the old fashioned way.'

'Modern technology being what it is, there's a good chance it won't work anyway.'

"Things moving too fast. We need to get back to our roots. And grubs."

'Hello, Mr. Thomas! We noticed you've recently been mugged! Hey, there's no better time than now to consider purchasing our identity theft protection insurance!...'

'Why worry about intrusive electronic surveillance. If you've done nothing wrong, you should have nothing to hide!'

"I come from a hundred years in the future to warn you that nothing really changes in the next hundred years."

Desert Island with CCTV.

"How can a hands-free phone be dangerous? I just don't see it!"

"We understand you're not happy with our privacy policy."

"I don't know. I'm something of a technophobe."

A quill pen in case the computer crashes.

"I'm just going to hook you up to the machine, so it will look like we're doing something for you."

"...And those are some of the books I would have read if the internet had never been invented."

'No I won't press one, two or a million. I want to speak to a human being!'

'The reason I have no interactive device - like a clicker or beeper - is I'm readng a BOOK,'

'It's four and a half minutes slow.'

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

'Here's a picture of my mom before Photoshop!'

Computer user thinking 'The problem with e-books is that they are e-books.'

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

'Artificial intelligence is overrated. We find most people prefer the user-friendly advantage of artificial stupidity.'

I.D. Cards Protest Group - Database of members: Name, Age, Address, Income, Occupation, Marital status...

'Honey, it's me. . . and whoever else is listening at the NSA. . .'

'You've got to get over here, you're not going to believe this.' - Man without cellphone

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

'Sir, I failed the exam because of 248 spelling mistakes. That's not my fault! The stupid pen didn't have a spellcheck app!'

'Sir, we need to upgrade our technology. We've used up our last roll of ticker tape.'

"Hi there, Consumer 275/B. I am your personal surveillance satellite - here for your safety and security. . . What can I do for you today. . ?"

"I know it seems cruel, but it's the only way for him to get rid of that silly technophobia."