Tech Skeptic Gifts

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

"I spend too much time really listening to others, making direct eye contact and giving my full attention. Can you help me, doc?"

'They're encyclopedias, Timmy... They're an early form of Google.'

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"Look, we've got to improve our voter-tracking algorithms if we want to make more accurate wild-ass guesses."

Watching The Watchers.

'The doctor doesn't like computers, he prefers to lose patients' records the old fashioned way.'

'I think we're being educated for failure...'

Luddite Olympics.

'Modern technology being what it is, there's a good chance it won't work anyway.'

"Things moving too fast. We need to get back to our roots. And grubs."

'Hello, Mr. Thomas! We noticed you've recently been mugged! Hey, there's no better time than now to consider purchasing our identity theft protection insurance!...'

"Google says it's an ancient privacy setting."

'Can you believe we got married, raised a family and retired, all without the help of a hand-held computer?'

'Why worry about intrusive electronic surveillance. If you've done nothing wrong, you should have nothing to hide!'

"I come from a hundred years in the future to warn you that nothing really changes in the next hundred years."

GCHQ is following you on Twitter. . . and Facebook . . .

Desert Island with CCTV.

"We understand you're not happy with our privacy policy."

"I'm just going to hook you up to the machine, so it will look like we're doing something for you."

"How can a hands-free phone be dangerous? I just don't see it!"

"...And those are some of the books I would have read if the internet had never been invented."

A quill pen in case the computer crashes.

"I don't know. I'm something of a technophobe."

I.D. Cards Protest Group - Database of members: Name, Age, Address, Income, Occupation, Marital status...

'Honey, it's me. . . and whoever else is listening at the NSA. . .'

'No I won't press one, two or a million. I want to speak to a human being!'

Computer user thinking 'The problem with e-books is that they are e-books.'

'It's four and a half minutes slow.'

'Life is easy for you kids these days! When I was a boy...'

'You've got to get over here, you're not going to believe this.' - Man without cellphone

'The reason I have no interactive device - like a clicker or beeper - is I'm readng a BOOK,'

'Here's a picture of my mom before Photoshop!'

'Artificial intelligence is overrated. We find most people prefer the user-friendly advantage of artificial stupidity.'

' I can't afford a smartphone. How much for a dumb one?'