Privacy Skeptics Gifts

Secret Agent Men

The Anti-Agent

"Too crowded. Let's go."

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

The Circular Logic of Fascism

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

Next gen pregnancy tests.

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

"Yes, I'm alone."

"I've added an additional response to the doc's health questionnaire. It's called 'Mind Your Own Business.'"

Police Statetion

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

The Best Defense

CCTV in church.

Privacy

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'

We've already got one. A hidden microphone in the staff coffee area.