Privacy Skeptic Gifts

"Dave's away from his desk, I'm afraid. Can I take a message, or read you his browser history."

"I don't care if someone is bugging my cell phone, I have no opinions of my own."

Bank. Sorry, sir, our privacy policy is available only on a need-to-know basis.

So you know my age and that I like Scrabble and that I may at one point have purchased foot cream? Of course. You're on Facebook. It's a terrific way to let the world know who you are. What about my privacy? Your what? Privacy?! Not familiar. Can you spell it?

"Not much , Mom, just hanging with some peeps."

The Anti-Agent

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"Too crowded. Let's go."

UK border controls relaxed.

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

"Do you mind?"

The Circular Logic of Fascism

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

Next gen pregnancy tests.

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

Privacy Conference Security

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"I've added an additional response to the doc's health questionnaire. It's called 'Mind Your Own Business.'"

"Nothing else in my room can spin on the floor like a bottle."

Police Statetion

"Yes, I'm alone."

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'