Digital Privacy Skeptic Gifts

"Privacy concerns? Oh, that is so stinkin' CUTE!"

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

Rare Books

Library door sign says, 'We have encyclopedias ... the original Facebook!'

'More government surveillance!'

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

Clickbait

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

The other digital divide.

'Read ALL about IT! While we're STILL in Circulation!'

'The best way to protect your privacy is through a flood of misinformation obscuring the truth.'

The benefit of an old-fashioned newspaper.

Upload Filter

21st century Safe Sex - protecting against face-recognition software.

'...This summit may be recorded for NSA training purposes!'

A Failiure to Communicate

"Buy my data $20"

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

'You post intimate details on Facebook, you want to be followed on Twitter, you send out dozens of selfies a day, yet you're paranoid about your computer's camera?'

"It's 'She's driving me crazy and I'm not sure whom to turn to.' "

"On the bright side, the NSA is done tracking you."

'I see that you have two sisters and like the beatles, I predict that you will graduate in 2012,,,'

Secret Agent Men

'This app that recommends what I read next works, but it's insulting. It referred me to a gas station restroom wall.'

"If we're doing such a good job of keeping the devil away, how come we have so many of these infernal machines around here?"

'That's funny - the computer said we had mail..'

"Well, if you can't trust software upgrades, who can you trust?"

"Yeah sure, I can erase all the silly videos of you that your master has posted on the internet. It's my most popular service..."

"I keep getting the feeling I’m being watched."

"Clean your browser history, mate?"

We respect your privacy, which is why we make it so hard for you to keep...I'm Ok with that.

Identity in the networks

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

"It's free, but they sell your information."

Unsocial Media