Tech Privacy Nerd Gifts

"On the bright side, the NSA is done tracking you."

The Computer Bore

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

She required plenty of personal space.

Robot Grabber Arcade Game Machine

'More government surveillance!'

"I think earth's antivirus software expired."

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'

"I may have been the runt of the litter, but online I'm the alpha dog."

"You knew I was high maintenance when we met."

"I said on the phone '2 percent.' I’m sure the NSA would back me up."

"I don't know who will be obsolete first, me or my computer."

"After finally discovering that we exist, you would think you would have something more important to ask than if we had Roku."

"Honey, our pop-up blocker stopped working again."

Cell phones seem as if they are designed for a T-Rex!

>Enter new password: BEEF STEW >Password not stroganoff.

"Fill out all these highly intrusive forms...we can't wait!"

We've Placed These Cookies Here To Learn More About You.

'The best way to protect your privacy is through a flood of misinformation obscuring the truth.'

'Never mind how accurate they are -- How DISCREET are they?'

Obama's surveillance of America.

'...This summit may be recorded for NSA training purposes!'

"And the tech guy said not to worry if I lost my phone. There's an app for that..."

'Do you know where your phone charger is? . . . I know where mine is.'

Now hiring. You seem very motivated. It's my internal drive!

A Failiure to Communicate

"Come left to course zero two five - whoa - use your turn signal."

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

Cell Phone

"The key to happiness is privacy. Hear what I'm sayin'?"

"We need to be careful."

Reality TV, or state surveillance? The ultimate expression of a signature television genre, or the logical conclusion of anti-terrorism legislation? Dirk searched for clues but the boundaries had blurred. No one was talking...

Nice Apology, Mark