Digital Skeptic Gifts

"My fax, e-mail, and voice mail are plotting against me!"

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

"Don't believe everything you see online."

'There are times when I still appreciate the feel of paper.'

"Everything takes grandpa a little longer to do. he's analog."

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

Another victory for old school over digital.

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

Unsocial Media

"If you send these people $50 they;ll show you how to make money off the net!"

'I hate to complain, but papering my cage with computer printouts just isn't the same as good old newspapers.'

"A paperless society is fine and all, but just in case, I have a couple reams of 24lb. bond stuffed in my mattress."

The Internet.

The benefit of an old-fashioned newspaper.

"Well, if you can't trust software upgrades, who can you trust?"

"Internet diagnosis killed him. He wasn't even ill, but what he read scared him to death."

'This app that recommends what I read next works, but it's insulting. It referred me to a gas station restroom wall.'

"Should we keep talking about it calmly or go on the Internet and get scared about it?"

The Dirty Internet

No Connection.

The Irony of the Smart Phone

"If we're doing such a good job of keeping the devil away, how come we have so many of these infernal machines around here?"

"He transitioned easily from belief in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny to nonsense on the internet."

"Jeez, dad. Your computer is so old it came with a flag to put up when you want to send an email."

The end is near!!* *As read on the Internet

"I hear you can order toilet paper over the internet."

GPs could be forced to switch IT systems under new NHS digital contract

"It's called a book, Kevin. You'll probably find that turning the page works better than swiping."

"That's me when I was your age...my 'off the grid' years."

"That's how many friends I have and that's how many unverified, idiotic posts I've shared."

"The 'how to avoid falling for fake news' lecture? Here? Today? Sorry, no. I fear you fell for fake news, sir."

"Junior said to check out his Facebook page. Guess I better go find my library card."

"No...I haven't heard about how we will be 'paperless' by 2018!"

"So, the self-anointed brandishing millions of followers. How is social media NOT a cult again?"

"I'm not saying it's spying on us, but it's asking me to 'select all the images of yourself selecting all the images of yourself.'"