Old University Friends Gifts

I'm Googling a couple of old uni mates.

Which vaccines did they have when you were young? You cannot get under my skin, loser. Were you vaccinated against the black plague? Not bothering me. Were you vaccinated against leprosy? I am unaffected by you. Were you vaccinated against the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs? Munch mun - When's the last time someone shoved a syrupy pancake down your pants?

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

'You have failed on all counts...'

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

The Janitor at the Harvard University Alumni Reunion is one of the Gang.

Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading yo

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

"You're right, they are statins."

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"

Pensioners run riot on mobility scooters.

"Same old crowd."

'Yes, old friend, we've traveled a long road, made a lot of stops, scooped up a lot of poop...'

'We,ve still got it,Fred-it's a pity they don't want it anymore!'

Who's Dead

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

Remember when?... When was that?

'Listen Mabel, you are 70, I am 75 and we have known each other since junior school. It's pure wishful thinking on your part if you claim I am 'grooming' you...'

"Believe me, I didn't amass a billion dollar fortune just to impress you. But... it does, right?"

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

'So much for the great UNKNOWN campground.'

"Fusilli, you crazy bastard! How are you?"

'Well, as I live and breathe. If it isn't Rex Harris! I thought you were extinct.'

"Ha ha. You tell that one in every lifetime. Ha ha. It never gets old."

'Gee, maybe there was something wrong with this college.'

"Yesterday I got in touch with a childhood friend!"

"Yeh, we met at University too, I was a Porter and Sharon was a cleaner."

Yakademic: An academic who has been describing their research since they were asked about it over 20 minutes ago.

"I found my old college classmates and my college uncovered my old tuition loans!"

"Drop by the next time you're in the eighties."

'Of course I remember you-Tomkins,the Peter Pan of the Lower 4th!'

"Long time no see!"

"Hey, Frankie, remember me? Summer of '88—we were twelve and you buried me up to my neck and left me to die."