University Friend Gifts

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"

'Can we have a starter for ten, please?'

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'Your thesis on 'how to keep warm in winter'? Interesting.'

'You have failed on all counts...'

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

"Sorry, had to barf real quick... so where were we?"

"I've decided to major in engineering...college loan debt restructuring."

"Meanwhile in Dogtown... Put your tongue back in your mouth. And pull up your pants. That’s not what your mom said last night."

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

Bro of Frankenstein

"IBS isn't all bad. It was largely responsible for me winning 6 sprinting medals in college track."

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

"I didn't know you could do worse than an F. When did they start handing out poop emojis?"

The morning after the night before.

"I love college."

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

'I'll pause for your moans and groans.'

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

Enrollment limited to college varsity athletes.

'I'm bright enough. I just don't have the right connections.'

"I got the highest grade in the class, except the giraffe."

"When you sit down, you get a shock. Open a book, you get a shock. Write something, another shock. It's a typical psychology class."

"Surely, as the world's only superpower, we're entitled to a little mischief now and then."

'I'm giving you extra marks for the six pack.' - Dr. Jeckyl , the College Years.

"And if you look to the right you'll see what happens if you disrupt my class."

'You have to lose weight. Stop having intimate dinners for two, when you are not expecting anyone to join you.'

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

Awesome. Now let's try this with bottles.