University Buddy Gifts

'..And remember, your success will be measured in how much you donate to the university's alumni fund.'

"Yeh, we met at University too, I was a Porter and Sharon was a cleaner."

"I love college."

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"Congratulations, Amruk. You prove they do exist."

Boy and girl at thier studies

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"Always with the String Theory."

'She flunked me, but I plea-bargained my way up to a C-plus!'

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

Burning the midnight oil.

'Your thesis on 'how to keep warm in winter'? Interesting.'

'You have failed on all counts...'

'Just for once, can't we have a picnic without your mates turning up to crawl all over the food?'

Yahoo! What's that about? She got into the college of her choice. Which college is it? Not sure. She chose to apply to 37. West Fester High School.

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading yo

"Tia Carmen, I have a killer test tomorrow. Can you help?"

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

'Thank you for not guessing.'

"Well, I can't figure it out either. Do we know anyone that can help us with math homework?"

"Some day, we should bait our hooks."

"And today children, Homer is going to show us his 'pressed fly and bug collection'."

"Sorry, had to barf real quick... so where were we?"

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"I don't need your help with my homework. Actually, I was a little disappointed with your work last time."

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

"Meanwhile in Dogtown... Put your tongue back in your mouth. And pull up your pants. That’s not what your mom said last night."